Adoption Q & A

What is adoption?
Adoption is the legal process by which parental rights and responsibilities are transferred from one parent or set of parent(s) to another, ensuring that a child has the benefits of a permanent, stable, and loving adoptive family.

Is adoption the same as giving away my baby?
No! Adoption provides you with the opportunity to make a plan for your child's future. It is the most loving, selfless choice you make in order to give your baby all the security and benefits of a permanent family.

How can I be certain that my child’s adoptive parents will take good care of her?
Parents who pursue infant adoption are required to meet our agency's requirements, including a homestudy, to guarantee that they are emotionally and financially ready to parent. Prospective adoptive parents have to meet all criteria set by their home state as well as the agency in order to adopt. Also, if you choose an semi-open or open adoption with contact between birthparents and the adoptive family, then you will be able to receive updates, pictures, and letters from the adoptive parents as your son or daughter grows up.

Will my child know who I am?
That’s up to you. You can choose how much contact, if any, you would like to have with your child and his or her adoptive parents.

Will my child grow up resenting me if I place him for adoption?
Most adopted children grow up feeling a great deal of respect and love for their birthparents. As they get older, most come to understand that adoption is not an easy decision for any birthmother, and they express gratitude for the loving sacrifice made by their birthparents. Adoptive parents share this gratitude and respect for birthparents, and often tell their children, from a very young age, about the tremendous love their birthparents had for them.

Who will help me if I choose adoption for my baby?
Birthmothers who choose our agency are guaranteed a high standard of professional care and counseling. We are staffed with sympathetic, ethical professionals who bring years of expertise to adoption counseling. We offer support services and counseling both before and after the adoption takes place, as well as financial support or referrals for additional resources. We also provide birthmothers with a written contract, detailing the agency’s responsibilities and promises to the birthmother both during and following the adoption process.

Who else is involved in the process? What about my family and friends?
When facing an unintended pregnancy, a woman may turn to many different individuals for guidance and support. You are encouraged to involve your family and friends in the adoption process if you are comfortable doing so. Only you can decide what is best for your child and make a plan for her future, but you can certainly benefit from the advice and support of the people who love and know you best.

I cannot pay for my pregnancy expenses. Is there help?
If you do not already have health insurance, you may qualify for Medicaid, and our agency rep should also be able to help you secure coverage. We also provide free legal services to help you plan for your adoption, and also some financial support for additional medical and living expenses.

How much contact can/will I have with my child and her adoptive family?
After you have selected a family to adopt your child, the contact you have with your child and her adoptive family will depend on what all of you are comfortable with.

Who can I talk to if I have further questions?

You may call our front line (Luci is in the photo on the right) any time with questions, concerns, or just to feel support. We're here! 877 62 HEART (877 624 3278)

End of Pregnancy Depression

Q: I am not sure who to ask, but the closer I get to having this baby, the more depressed I get. This baby is going up for adoption, but I really have not been thinking about that in a bad way at all lately. I just feel myself getting more depressed as the days go on ... is there something wrong with me?

A: Tell your OB. Some forms of postpartum depression can actually occur before delivery. Certainly the extra dynamics of adoption play some part in this, but your doctor should evaluate you to see if the depression is pathological.

Dr. Gerard M. DiLeo
Obstetrics and Gynecology Dr. Gerard M. DiLeo is a board certified obstetrician-gynecologist who has been in private practice since 1981 and has served as Chief of the Medical Staff at Lakeview Regional Medical Center in greater New Orleans.

UNPLANNED PREGNANCY?

An unplanned pregnancy often creates a crisis - and it's hard to plan for the future. Unplanned pregnancy is not unique to young, unmarried women. It occurs in married and in older women, and it can create a crisis in every life.

STEP ONE ... verify the pregnancy. There are home pregnancy tests, confidential pregnancy testing at crisis pregnancy centers, and doctors. The most accurate tests are often at the dr. or clinic. Make sure you get a copy of the result.

STEP TWO ... find a support system. If family support is not possible, there are counselors, religious leaders, and others who can offer confidential support and guidance.

An unplanned pregnancy can often lead to the decision to place the child for adoption.

Before making any decision regarding your pregnancy, weigh all of your options and consider how each decision will affect you, both now and in the future.

Call our front line at 877 624 3278 (877 62 HEART)

Jodi and Luci are happy to talk with you any time and help guide you through this decision. We're here for you!

From an Amazing Birthmother

"Before I came out to Utah, I felt like there was nothing I could do but abortion. I remember opening up the phone book to the wrong page, and the Heart to Heart logo was sitting right there. I never considered adoption before, but as soon as I called and heard the voice on the other end - the love and sincerity in Luci's voice - I knew this was what I wanted.

Once I was in Utah, I thought maybe I was wrong, that maybe I should keep the baby. But when I saw how loving adoptive parents could be, I was nothing more than to palce my child. Everyone was always there and I never felt alone or confused.

Heart to Heart was a blessing to me."

---Jasmine from Georgia---

(Delivered 4-13-09

Case Manager: Patti

Counselor: Julie

Adoptive Family Stacey and Erik)

5 tips for Post Partum Care...

The time after delivering a baby is stressful, particularly if you've placed for adoption. There are many physical and emotional stresses...here are a few suggestions to help you through this time:

1. COPE WITH EXHAUSTION

Slow down a little and we live in a fast paced world...give yourself permission to take your time now and then.

2. LIMIT YOUR OBLIGATIONS

Take a little extra time to evaluate what you really need and want to do.

3. SLEEP WHENEVER YOUR CAN

Nap if possible, and get a good night's rest!

4. NURTURE YOURSELF

A bubble bath instead of a speed shower, a short read, or quick walk with a friend could really rejuvenate you.

Watch for Post Partum Depression. There is a difference between 'baby blues' (which usually shows up between the 2nd and 5th day post partum) and PPD (Post Partum Depression - which can show up 4-8 weeks post partum - but sometimes later - and can persist for over a year)

Symptoms cover a wide range, including irritability, frequent crying, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, lack of energy and motivation, disturbances of appetite and sleep, and feelings of being unable to cope with life's demands. Anxiety often shows up through self-blame and guilt. Contact your health care provider if you notice any or all of these symptoms.

Finally....GET MOVING! You won't be able to handle your whole Pilates routine at first, but gentle exercise, such as walking, and light weights, biking, swimming (with Dr. ok) can boost your heart rate - and your mood!

Thinking about placing a child for adoption?

There are a multitude of reasons for which expectant parents make an adoption plan for their baby. A bad relationship, finances, and poor timing are just three examples.

When making the decision to place, birthmothers look deep inside themselves and say “Am I really ready for this? Am I ready to devote my life to bringing up a child in the most healthy environment possible?” After much soul searching, many women choose to place their baby for adoption.

Some acquaintances will be shocked by your decision; they think parenting would be possible for you, especially if they 'help'. But the deeper question is; would great parenting be possible right now? And really, are these rescuers going to/able to 'help'? Usually not.

Some birth parents would make adequate parents. Some could provide financially for a baby; some wouldn’t abuse or neglect him, and those are important things a baby needs. But most just aren’t ready to sink every moment of our lives into bringing him up. Some don’t know that they will ever be ready for that kind of commitment; parenting was the furthest thing from mind when the pregnancy was confirmed.

There are also people who already have children they are parenting who choose to place a second or third child, or some cases a sixth or seventh child. Their reasons vary as well. Maybe they are great parents to the child/ren they already have but know that another one would make them just adequate parents and they want to be great parents to all of their kids. Maybe financial constraints limit them. Perhaps a woman finds herself suddenly single through the death of a partner or spouse, or at the end of a relationship, and they don’t feel they can cope with another child or any child for that matter.

Sadly, there are some people in the world who feel that when someone chooses to place their baby for adoption, they are admitting that they would be bad parents. We know this is not true! Parenting is overwhelming and birth parents really search their souls to know what their limits are. Most love children, but loving children doesn’t make one ready to give up what they feel their life is take care of one. There are people who place that go on to have other children and make great parents because their next child came at a better time. There are also people who make great birth parents and while it may not be what they dreamed of, they are content with that role.

Women who place children for adoption come from all walks of life. They are usually intelligent, well-adjusted, happy people who made a heart wrenching choice to do what they had to for their child. If you choose to place, it doesn’t mean you would have been a bad parent; it just means that you may not be at the best place in life to be the great parent that you want for your child. And you love your child enough to give them more...you have enough love to place them with an adoptive family. And that is one of the greatest parenting decisions you'll ever make.

The "Front Line"

The Dynamic Duo
Luci Taylor & Jodi Christensen - Birth Parent Front Line

Luci and Jodi are the first people the birthmothers speak with when they call the agency. They both bring a compassion to their work and an ability to connect with the birthmothers that supports them from the moment they make that first call.


Luci grew up in Salt Lake City and has a tender heart for children. She is an incredible seamstress - she makes gorgeous quilts and loves to stitch. She loves to travel and be on a sunny beach...anywhere... Luci and her husband, Matt, are the parents of two darling daughters and a handsome son.






Jodi also grew up in Utah and is the life of the party where ever she goes. She loves to laugh, and makes everyone around her laugh with her. She is married to Dane and has a daughter, Maya, through adoption, as well as a daughter, Layla, and a another little bun in the oven. (due in July) Jodi has a penchant for bright colors and is the reigning karaoke champion of the neighborhood.

When you call Heart to Heart, 877 -62- HEART (877-624-3278), you will have the pleasure of speaking with either Luci or Jodi. You will find them to be caring, knowledgeable, and fun to talk to. They are the first in a long line of support people you'll have at Heart to Heart. We care!