Thinking about placing a child for adoption?

There are a multitude of reasons for which expectant parents make an adoption plan for their baby. A bad relationship, finances, and poor timing are just three examples.

When making the decision to place, birthmothers look deep inside themselves and say “Am I really ready for this? Am I ready to devote my life to bringing up a child in the most healthy environment possible?” After much soul searching, many women choose to place their baby for adoption.

Some acquaintances will be shocked by your decision; they think parenting would be possible for you, especially if they 'help'. But the deeper question is; would great parenting be possible right now? And really, are these rescuers going to/able to 'help'? Usually not.

Some birth parents would make adequate parents. Some could provide financially for a baby; some wouldn’t abuse or neglect him, and those are important things a baby needs. But most just aren’t ready to sink every moment of our lives into bringing him up. Some don’t know that they will ever be ready for that kind of commitment; parenting was the furthest thing from mind when the pregnancy was confirmed.

There are also people who already have children they are parenting who choose to place a second or third child, or some cases a sixth or seventh child. Their reasons vary as well. Maybe they are great parents to the child/ren they already have but know that another one would make them just adequate parents and they want to be great parents to all of their kids. Maybe financial constraints limit them. Perhaps a woman finds herself suddenly single through the death of a partner or spouse, or at the end of a relationship, and they don’t feel they can cope with another child or any child for that matter.

Sadly, there are some people in the world who feel that when someone chooses to place their baby for adoption, they are admitting that they would be bad parents. We know this is not true! Parenting is overwhelming and birth parents really search their souls to know what their limits are. Most love children, but loving children doesn’t make one ready to give up what they feel their life is take care of one. There are people who place that go on to have other children and make great parents because their next child came at a better time. There are also people who make great birth parents and while it may not be what they dreamed of, they are content with that role.

Women who place children for adoption come from all walks of life. They are usually intelligent, well-adjusted, happy people who made a heart wrenching choice to do what they had to for their child. If you choose to place, it doesn’t mean you would have been a bad parent; it just means that you may not be at the best place in life to be the great parent that you want for your child. And you love your child enough to give them more...you have enough love to place them with an adoptive family. And that is one of the greatest parenting decisions you'll ever make.